So, you have had your eye on some sweet thing and you are trying to figure out how to woo her, are you?  Whether you just met her at a party last week or you have been working with her for over a year, there are a few rules of thumb you might want to keep in mind when trying to win over that special lady.  Of course, I am no expert myself, so I decided to turn to some of my female friends and ask them give us guys a few pointers on how to find our way to their hearts.

Tip #1:  Don’t be a Chump

One thing I heard over and over again was that women don’t want a guy who is a real pushover.  As you might suspect, finding the proper balance between being a romantic guy and a loser chump is quite thin with the ladies.

“I don’t want a guy who will let me walkover him,” said Elizabeth.  “I mean, I don’t want a guy to be a jerk or anything, but I also want him to have his own opinions and to feel free to express them. If I find a guy who just agrees with me on everything and does whatever I tell him, I will tend to just use the guy and get tired of him right away.”

It seems that the ladies don’t want a doormat when it comes to forming a serious relationship.  Most of the women I talked to wanted a man to be a man - after all, it is our differences that attract us to one another - while still treating them like they are someone special.  Good luck striking the proper balance with the more fickle of the sexes.

Tip #2:  Watch Out for the Friend Zone

We guys have always been weary of falling into the friend zone - and it turns out there is good reason for our fears.

“It is really hard to date a guy after you have become good friends,” comments Irene.  “I know we always tell guys we are afraid of losing them as a friend, but the truth is that is just hard to feel romantic about a guy you consider to be a friend.  We pretty much classify guys as either ‘friend’ or ‘possible boyfriend.”  Once you are in the ‘friend’ category, it is hard to move out.”

Does this mean you should just avoid being friends with every girl you meet?  According to the women I talked to, no.  Most of the women I talked to said they basically know which category you fall into shortly after meeting you.  If you fall into the “possible boyfriend” category, showing your sensitive side and lending an ear to them during their time of need will only help solidify your chances of hooking up later.  If you fell into the “friend” category, on the other hand, your only chance of getting somewhere relies upon you showing what a great guy you are.  So, what’s the bottom line?

“Make a good first impression,” advises Irene.  “Then, you will have a better chance of falling into the ‘possible boyfriend’ category and getting somewhere with her later.”

Tip #3:  Leave the Lines at Home

“I hate it when a guy approaches me with some overused line,” said Samantha.  “It also pisses me off when I see a guy hitting on a bunch of women and then he hits on me after having been shot down.  It tells me the guy is desperate and just trying to hook up with any chick he can find.”

If you are trying to capture the interest of someone special in your life, forget about trying to make her jealous by paying attention to other girls or by laying on thick with the pick up lines.  This will only make you look like a player and will get you nowhere with the lady you have your eye on.  If she is looking for a good time, your lines may be enough to get a roll in the sack, but she won’t look at you as relationship material.

Tip #4:  Be Confident

“There is a difference between being confident and being cocky,” commented Sarah.  “I like a guy who appears to be comfortable with who he is and with his opinions, but I don’t want someone who is full of himself and thinks he is God’s gift to women.  In fact, I’d rather have a guy be awkward and shy rather than act like an ass.”

So, even if you really aren’t too sure about where you stand with the lady you are interested in, project a sense of confidence when you are around her.  This goes back to not being a chump, as most women prefer a man who is strong, capable of making decisions and willing to be his own person.

Tip #5:  Go for It

“If a guy is interested in me, I would rather he just come out and ask me out rather than sit back and play games,” said Cindy.  “I mean, we aren’t in high school anymore.  If I don’t have an interest in him, it’s not like I am going to make fun of him or want nothing to do with him anymore.  Besides, when he tells me he is interested in me, it shows he is confident and willing to put himself ‘out there’”

By asking her out as soon as you start feeling interested in her, you can successfully follow all of the advice the ladies offered:  you don’t come off like a chump, you avoid getting trapped in the friend zone, you don’t fall back on using your lame lines and you show confident.  So, if there is someone you have thinking about lately, go ahead and ask her out - you just might be happy to see where it leads you.